Sandwich Risk/Reward Analysis: Part One of a Many-Part Series?

Sandwiches are the perfect lunch food. Quick, simple, and easy to eat when busy, there's really no matching the convenience and tastiness of a sandwich. However, not all is well in the land of bread and honey. While you can often be sure of the quality of ingredients you put into your own sandwich, it's a little harder to predict what sort of quality you'll run into when ordering from a restaurant, or when having a sandwich provided by a friend.

The discussion arose when my man and I were talking about vegetables we did and did not like in certain circumstances. I brought up the tomato, which I like in most dishes but will pass on in salads and sandwiches; the reason being that when you get a good tomato in one of those situations, there's not much it adds to the flavor picture. A good tomato can't save a bad sandwich. However, a bad tomato can ruin a sandwich that's excellent in all other aspects, bringing a soggy and unpleasant texture to the mouth and a tart, acidic flavor to the tongue. And so the idea for a risk/reward analysis for sandwich innards was born, from this talk of vegetables. We would determine the "risk" factor of each potential sandwich ingredient and build the perfect sandwich from the results of the data gathered.

Totally nerdy, I know, but I figured if anyone's going to appreciate it, it'd be this crowd. We'll start with veggies, since that's where the conversation started.

We'll only discuss commonly used veggies here, since more exotic ingredients are a little harder to get a consensus agreement on. Risk and Reward are judged on a 0 to 5 scale, 0 meaning no risk/reward and 5 being the most risk/reward possible. An explanation of how we achieved these numbers will follow each rating. As the analysis project is a work-in-progress, these numbers are open to debate in the comments section, and results may be edited upon the revelation of further data. Your input is welcomed and encouraged.

Risk is defined here as how probable it is that the ingredient may be bad. For instance, a preserved food such as pickles has a lower risk value of a fresh food like a tomato. While a pickle will almost always have the same sort of flavor, there is a wide range of quality in tomatoes.

When we talk about Reward below, we are referring to how much benefit an ingredient can really bring a sandwich when said ingredient is at its best. How much better is the sandwich for the inclusion of the ingredient? The higher the number, the more significant the contribution to the flavor and texture of the sandwich.

Please also keep in mind that the risk/reward is analyzed from a perspective of actually enjoying the ingredient - if you don't like something, it's always going to have 0 reward for you and is therefore not going to be included on your ideal sandwich.

Alfalfa Sprouts
Risk: 1
Reward: 2
They're probably the least common item on this list, but they occur often enough to gain a spot among the others. Generally, if a place has Alfalfa Sprouts available, they're going to be pretty good. It's hard to find bad Alfalfa Sprouts in a restaurant environ. However, with that in mind, there's not much they bring to the flavor of a sandwich. Texture wise they add a small crunch and an interesting texture. So while the risk is low, so's the reward.

Avocado
Risk: 5
Reward: 4
Avocado's a very fragile fruit, and often once it's shipped to wherever it's going it's bruised and not very tasty. Even in California, poor preparation of avocado can lead to it getting mushy and disgusting. It's hard to find good avocado, but when it's at its best, it bring a lot of flavor and a smooth texture to your sandwich. Is it worth the risk? Only if you really trust the provider of the sandwich to not give you some mushy Avo.

Bell Pepper
Risk: 0
Reward: 3
I asked around, and of the people that like bell peppers, not a one of them can ever remember having a bad bell pepper in their sandwich. Bell pepper is a sturdy vegetable that holds up pretty well to shipment and storage. It's nice and crisp and adds a mild flavor to the sandwich that can act as a good counter to your meat choice.

Cucumber
Risk: 2
Reward: 2
Cucumber is another strong vegetable, though it sometimes runs the risk of having a mushy core. It has a mild, cool flavor and while its crunch is texturally pleasing in a sandwich, it doesn't bring too much to a sandwich aside from that.

Eggplant
Risk: 3
Reward: 4
Eggplant can suffer pretty badly in preparation, and often serves as a meat replacement in vegetarian sandwiches. That being said, when it's properly prepared, it can be a mighty tasty addition to your sandwich.

Lettuce
Risk: 3
Reward: 2
At its worst, lettuce can be a soggy, limp venture. Sadly, there's a moderate possibility of this occurring. The rewards you get for lettuce aren't much, just a bit of crunch to your sandwich if it's not bad lettuce. That being said, it is your most common source of said vegetable crunch and is probably the most widely available vegetable for sandwiches, so it is likely you will have no other options if seeking that texture in your sandwich at many restaurants.

Mushroom
Risk: 3
Reward: 4
Mushrooms suffer from the same problems as eggplants in sandwiches. Problems in storage and transport play a greater part than preparation with mushrooms, but you can get some mighty fine mushrooms one they're in your sandwich. As with eggplants, the larger varieties of mushroom make a good meat substitute in vegetarian sandwiches.

Onions (cooked)
Risk: 1
Reward: 5
It's hard to go wrong with cooked onions. They bring a strong, delicious flavor to any sandwich they play a part of, and are a real shining star. Caramelized onions are to veggies what bacon is to meat.

Onions (raw)
Risk: 0
Reward: 2
The good news about raw onions is that it's nearly impossible to get bad raw onions. The bad news is that for all their crunch and strong flavor, they just don't shine as much as the cooked version. They can add a good flavor to a sandwich, but they can't help a bad sandwich the way cooked onions can.

Pickles
Risk: 1
Reward: 3
They're pickles - you pretty much always know what a pickle is going to taste like. Like uncooked onions, though, they can't quite salvage a bad sandwich. A truly superior pickle can add a pretty good taste and crunch, though, and so they rate higher on rewards.

Tomato
Risk: 4
Reward: 2
Tomatoes are very fragile, and are often damaged in transport and storage. In addition, they don't hold up very well once sliced. Because of this, there is a very high likelihood that the tomato you get in your sandwich is not going to be very good. In addition, a good tomato brings very little to a sandwich on its own. Not recommended in most sandwiches.